Like a lot of moms, when I had small children, I was super stressed out. Anyone with multiple kids knows how difficult life can be when the kids are young and active. Plus, in my case, my youngest child was cognitively delayed so when she went through the “terrible twos,” it lasted for about four years. There was a lot of crying and stomping and time outs. I smile when I think of it now because my daughter’s 14 and just graduated out of her special education classes. She’s become an impressive young lady, full of compassion and dedicated to hard work. But back then times were tough. I rarely had time to think or relax or even finish a sentence without interruption. Life was chaotic and packed with commitments. But one thing saved my sanity back then: plants.
Here are a few things I did when things got crazy.
-I went outside and raked leaves. Just the act of clearing away detritus in the fresh air got my blood flowing and made me feel like I could at least simply and directly improve one part of my garden. No complications.
-After the kids were in bed, I’d pick a gardening book off my shelf and peruse it. Occasionally I’d visit gardening sites on the web. Seeing images of tidy colorful spaces allowed me to forget that my own home and garden were less than perfect. I loved slipping into the dream of a quiet green sanctuary.
-During the summer, I’d weed, and weed, and weed some more. The rote action of pulling chickweed or dandelions or whatever brought me into a meditative state. I didn’t think, I didn’t worry, I just did the small task at hand, which calmed my mind and expanded my spirit.
-On a day when my husband could care for the kids, I’d take off for a brisk walk on a nearby trail. Seeing the trees elegantly touch the sky always soothed my spirit. Something about their silent majesty reminded me how temporary and small my problems really were.
-Inside, I tended my houseplants. I’d trim away brown leaves and spent flowers, then water while being in no rush. I’d lose my sense of time while working. In caring for the plants, I felt like I was successful in caring for at least a few living souls in my life.
-Sometimes I’d step outside and watch the wind blow through the bushes. I know that sounds weird. But the images of the leaves fluttering was beautiful and poetic. And the smell of the outdoors, even in the cold, gave me a new perspective. On days when it wasn’t windy, I’d step outside and watch the birds swoop through the yard, or bees buzz by. Nothing in the garden yearned for anything and therefore, neither did I.
If you’re in the throes of raising little kids, remember to retreat into a plant activity you like. It doesn’t have to involve gardening or houseplants. The point is to change your scenery and let the greenery relax you. In the meantime, I wish you peace.
Photo by Biel Morro